Dare to Be Brilliantly You

self esteem drawing

When I was an image consultant, I used to give workshops to teens on image and self-esteem. I called the workshops, “Dare to be Brilliant”, and my intention was to give these young ladies a place to embrace healthy self-esteem ideas. One of the exercises I facilitated was for each of them to name 5 aspects of themselves that they absolutely loved. It could be anything–their finger nails, voice, or smile–the point was to make the girls aware of their positive attributes.

What was so heartwarming for me to observe was how comfortable and affirmed this exercise made them feel almost instantaneously. As each girl stood up to claim her positive attributes (clapping by the group was strongly encouraged), starting off shyly and uncertain at first perhaps, but by the end smiling and looking that much more confident, something substantial would have shifted. Her self–esteem would have soared and solidified that much more deeply within her. The gift in the exercise was daring to name it and claim it!

I share this experience to underscore the importance of healthy self-esteem and the power we each hold to bring it forth. Self-esteem describes a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. It plays a role in every thought we think about ourselves, our sense of identity, in determining the yardstick against which we allow others to treat us, and in our level of success in life.

Dove’s groundbreaking, “The Real Truth About Beauty” campaign, delved into young women’s self-esteem, body image, and body confidence issues and uncovered the difficulty women and girls have in recognizing their real beauty. A startling statistic from the study finds that 6 in 10 girls will stop doing something they love because they feel badly about the way they look. Consider the implications of poor self-esteem on women’s career choices, educational achievement, relationships and lifestyle. Does your behavior foster healthy self-esteem?

As our culture becomes more technologically sophisticated, the rate at which we are bombarded by images which erode and negatively impact our self-esteem increase. How do we self-correct? How do we move the needle in the other direction? How do we stop ourselves from increasingly becoming a perfection striving, visually hungry, socially competitive generation who can never attain the impossibly high standards we set for ourselves? We get back to basics. We re-learn ways to honor and uphold the very best of ourselves as the uniquely individual beings we are. We feed and encourage healthy self-image habits in ourselves and those we mentor.

More than ever in today’s culture, ideas of beauty, success, achievement and creativity are converging around a “one size fits all” paradigm which snuffs the very life out of the individuality we seem to seek. We are more the same yet we are more intolerant of each other’s differences. We wave the flag of freedom and expression but only as long as the status quo remains intact. But we must remember that this very generation is a by-product of individuality and self-expression in full bloom.  The buck can’t stop here. We have to encourage our youth to dare to showcase their uniqueness in spite of the pressures to conform. Every human being has a fundamental need to belong. So to foster inclusiveness, without sacrificing uniqueness, a great measure of patience, humility and tolerance is called for.

In tangible terms what does that mean for you reading this? It means being true to yourself in a more embracive way than you may perhaps have allowed yourself to be in the past: being bold and unapologetically expressive, yet humble; being fearless in sharing your perspective of a given situation; being graciously honest with your feedback; being lovingly encouraging to those under your charge. Nurture your passions. Hone your skills. Be insatiably curious…about everything. Discover your purpose and challenge your beliefs. Unearth your significance to this earth. Trust in your innate excellence. Love from the inside, out. Love your God. Love yourself. Love your brothers and sisters. Isn’t this our ultimate call?

We have really only just begun to tap into the incredible abundance available to us. Our love is a resource we need to be using all the time. It is free, unlimited and cumulative. It starts with our love for ourselves, and our esteem for ourselves as a contributing member of society. Dare to be brilliantly you. Love will do the rest.

A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself” – Unknown

Image credit: webpsychology.com

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Natalie Jobity is an inspirational author, freelance writer and editor, and marketing consultant. She consults with would be authors and writers on honing their “voice” so their words have the desired impact.  She is the author of the Amazon Best-selling style guide: Frumpy to Fabulous: Flaunting It. Your Ultimate Guide to Effortless Style.

Visit her blog at: http://nataliejobity.com/be-simply-inspired/

 

A Shift in Perspective

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.“  Marcel Proust

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA    Image (C) Natalie Jobity

If you’re like me, you may have thought that your way of thinking was the only rational way to view things. After all, most of us have a vested interest in being right, don’t we? We can’t possibly believe that the saying, “walking with blinders on”, applies to us.  But life has a way of bringing us to varying levels of humility, until we are forced to reckon with the reality that there might be a healthier way to view people and events. Haven’t you ever assumed something about someone only to discover that your opinion was totally off base? We attribute so much of what we think to what we can see with our naked eye, and forget that this is just a tiny part of the story—and a really tiny part at that.

So how do we embrace a wider, more positive viewpoint? How do we shift our perspective about people or events in our life? First, it starts with our core beliefs. Do we believe that people are essentially loving and kind or do we think they are out to get us? Do we believe in an abundant universe, knowing that all our good will come to us and everything will work out just fine, or do we approach life with a “crabs in a barrel” mentality, thinking only of our personal gain because we think it all boils down to a survival of the fittest? Do we see the proverbial glass as half full or half empty? “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV) Our core beliefs shape not only our view of the world, but our interactions with others. Believe the best, and life responds accordingly. As we think, so it manifests.

Sometimes our perspective shifts because of a change in our life circumstances. But it is not the circumstances that change us necessarily, but our response to them. Let’s say you lost your job because you were always coming in late. You can respond to that event in at least two ways: you either vow to become a more punctual person because you don’t want to be fired again for tardiness or you can complain and moan about how unlucky you are and choose not to take responsibility for your actions.

In the first scenario, there is a positive shift in perspective and behavior. Being late to work is a problem that has consequences.  You learn to take responsibility, realize you are not immune to adversity and you raise the level of self-awareness with which you operate in life.  In the second scenario, you have indulged in self-pity and have left little room for personal growth; you have shifted responsibility away from yourself and there is zero accountability or shift in awareness.  You can bet that lesson on punctuality will reappear in your life again, until you heed it. Such is the nature of life—if you don’t learn a life lesson, it re-appears in your life more dramatically each time until you get it. Isn’t it so worth it for us to get on with the business of learning and growing from life’s challenges? Amen!

Finally, our shifts in perspective can occur because of our interactions with others. The truth is, we truly are interconnected with every other person we interact with.  Our co-workers, our neighbors, the business people in our community, our family and friends all give and receive “energy” from us.  If we are surrounded by people who are optimistic, energetic, hopeful, honest, forgiving, loving, etc. it can’t help but rub off on us. Our wholesome perspective of the world and the people in it is progressively reinforced. We believe that people are basically good because that is what is mirrored for us. We embrace higher and higher levels of the earth’s benevolence. Unfortunately, the converse is also true.

A shift in perspective takes time, but it is cumulative. If you find yourself trapped in negative thinking or circumstances, examine 1) your core beliefs about people and life, 2) your response to life events, and 3) your interactions with the people around you. I promise you that if you are honest with yourself, you will find new, healthier ways to experience the world around you.

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Natalie Jobity is an inspirational author, freelance writer and editor, and marketing consultant. She consults with would be authors and writers on honing their “voice” so their words have the desired impact.  She is the author of the Amazon Best-selling style guide: Frumpy to Fabulous: Flaunting It. Your Ultimate Guide to Effortless Style. 

Be Simply Inspired

I believe that inspiration drives innovation and innovation drives invention. In other words, we cannot create anything new, (an idea, a recipe, a product, a work of art, a platform, a movement, etc.) without first being inspired by our environment. Which begs the question; “What (and who) are you surrounding yourself with?”

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Photo Credit: Natalie Jobity

Our environment influences us in profound ways, usually at the subconscious level. It is the source of our creativity, drive and perspective. We may not have much control over our family environment, our workplace setting, or the community in which we live, but we do have a lot of control over what we read, watch, listen to and eat and how we choose to spend our non-working hours. Are you inspired after spending hours on social media or are you just “killing time”? Are you inspired after engaging in a gossipy conversation or are you left feeling as if something was taken away from you (perhaps your precious time?). Are you inspired after watching bad reality TV or do you find yourself wanting to pick a fight with your spouse/mate/child/sibling after so indulging? Is your environment feeding your spirit or leaving you wanting more?

Human beings have an innate call to create. It is that calling that keeps us motivated to excel and be the best we can be in our lives. We want to make an impact. We want to contribute to our communities. We want to leave a legacy. But we have to feed and nurture that calling within us. We have to surround ourselves with people, places and things that are conducive to our thriving. We have to be inspired.

So what inspires you? What fills you up so completely that you have no choice but to pour the blessing out to others? What really motivates you to create? For me, inspiration comes from many sources: reflecting on the majestic placidity of the lake where I go for my walks; reading a book that gives me a new perspective on life; marveling at the stunning awesomeness of the daily blossoms on my hibiscus plant; watching one of my favorite dance competitions, ‘So You Think You Can Dance’, and feeling awe for the gift in these young dancers; knowing that I have positively impacted someone else using my skills, expertise and talents; seeing others perform at their highest levels of excellence. When I am inspired, I instinctively, automatically feel the urge to be an inspiration to others.

It’s simple. The more we are inspired, the more we inspire others to be in their brilliance. We are each so gifted. Let us continue to bless others with our unique gifts.

What are some of the things that inspire you? Please share them in the comments.

© Natalie Jobity

The 3 P’s: Patience, Perseverance & Prayer

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We all have personal and professional goals which change and evolve over time. Our goals can be pretty mundane, such as exercising more each week. Or they can be pretty substantive, such as deciding to change careers and go back to school. Whatever your goal, you can find encouragement by following these 3 P’s.

  1. Patience. I recently forwarded a funny quote on social media which says: “Bless me with patience. Not opportunities to be patient, I’ve had plenty of those and they don’t seem to be working. The actual patience…” It’s true that when we are trying to practice patience that life somehow seems to throw us these curveballs that try our patience to the end of its limits! I know. I’ve sure been there. But the beauty of really stepping into a posture of patience is that in the practice of it, we do get better. It is a lot of hard work but if you practice diligently you will find that the little things that used to irk you don’t bother you as much. With any goal a measure of patience is required. There will be obstacles and challenges that test our ability to stay focused on our goal but if we “patiently” work to overcome these challenges, we will reap our reward in the end.
  2. Perseverance. How do we endure when the going gets rough? How do we maintain our vision when there are myriad distractions in our path? How do we keep on track with our goal? We persevere. We stay the course. We ride the wave of uncertainty and trial until we are able to coast to the shore. We remind ourselves of why the particular goal is important to us. We envision how great we will feel when we accomplish our goal. We taste victory, buckle down and plough forward. It is said that our true character reveals itself when we are challenged. Persevering, in essence, strengthens us so that the person we become on the other side is smarter, tougher, wiser, and more compassionate than our former self. Perseverance helps us achieve our goals and gives us the gift of character development.
  3. Prayer. Faith gives us the power to move mountains! A belief in yourself and in a Higher Power, such as God, enables you to withstand disappointment, perceived failure and trials. It gives you the security that, yes, you can achieve your dreams. It gives you an inner knowing that, yes, you can accomplish your goals, no matter how dire the circumstances may seem. The act of prayer acknowledges that your means far extend what you can see with your naked eye. You have help, support and an advocate. Prayer gives you the ability to re-focus, re-group and re-align with your mission. It forces you to press pause and listen for guidance. When you receive it, you can patiently persevere towards your desired destination.

Patience, perseverance and prayer are your guideposts for successfully achieving any goal. Yours in victory!

© Natalie Jobity